Family Drama

Well, there has been some news happening with my family. I am sad to announce, that after only 1 1/2 years of marriage, my brother and sister-in-law are getting divorced. There is much speculation as to the reasons why, but many factors have contributed to this final decision. I don't want to go into too many details, as it is a fairly personal matter and I do not want to throw there business out there into cyber space. I will say a few things about it to help everyone understand though.

My brother and his beautiful wife dated for almost 5 years, all the while my brother was in the Marine Corps. When they first started dating they lived close by each other, and saw each other frequently. My brother was deployed to Iraq in 2003, I'm not sure exactly for how long, but over 6 months. When he came back, she was waiting for him with open arms.

Unfortunately, my family took a little bit of time warming up to her. She wasn't like most of the people he had dated, coming off (at first) a bit more quiet and perhaps reserved than what we knew. But I tried my best to make her feel at home when she was with us, and even when she was not. We spoke frequently on the phone, and developed a close friendship we maintain to this day. Eventually everyone came to love and accept her. Her relationship with my mother wasn't always the best, but friendly at that.

In 2003 they became engaged, and married in May of 2004. I was so happy. She was raised with 4 brothers, so my sister and I welcomed her like another sister. They're wedding was beautiful, like a fairy tale. It was a blessed day. Shortly after, in October 2004, Joe and I married too.

Since the beginning of their marriage, things have always been rocky. They would argue and fight, more than the usual disagreements we all encounter in our own marriage. They spent days in separate bedrooms, ignoring each other. I always hoped and prayed that things would get better. His wife thought that his "fits" could be a result of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, so we encouraged him to go see a doctor about it. His appointment is still pending. They tried counseling too. Again, I don't want to get into details, but I will only say that my brother did not think the counseling was benefiting them, so it stopped.

Everything came to a head last week, and she told me over the phone that they were getting divorced. She said it was him who wanted it, she simply agreed because she could not bear the hurt and pain anymore. I understand this, and so I respect their decision. But it has taken a while to really sink in. I love them both, he is my brother and I consider her my sister. I can't imagine one without the other. I don't know how they will live, or what will happen from here. This has been a very hard time for me. I feel selfish saying that, because I know they are going through much worse. I have tried seeing if there was anything else they could do, or try, but it seems like the divorce is imminent. I am so sad, for them, and for me, and for our families. I will never truly loose her as a sister, but it is so hard.

And so please remember, especially during this Christmas season, to truly be thankful for time spent with your family, friends, and loved ones. Every second is precious. If anyone can offer words of advice, wisdom, or even comfort, they would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to all of you who read this blog, and keep me smiling.